No matter who you are, if you’re in an intimate relationship with a woman where sex is a part of the equation, there are a number of key concepts to remember when trying to please your female partner. Using your hands (fingers, specifically) can be immensely pleasurable for a girl, and can help spice things up for the both of you. When utilizing your fingers, there are two main objectives: Playing with the clitoris and fingering. There are upsides and pitfalls to both of these techniques, but both are equally important…and combining the two, even better!
For starters, when trying to find the clitoris, travel upwards from the opening of the vagina to the very top of the “inner lips” (labium minus, for those of us concerned with technicalities), right where they meet. The clitoris feels like a small bump, or even a small pea just under the skin, and moves around a little bit as you touch it. It is very sensitive (and therefore very important) and will swell a bit as the girl becomes more and more aroused.
Now that you’ve found the clitoris, or the “clit” as it’s most often called, what do you do with it? Begin with rubbing it with your index and middle fingers. Start softly, as this is a sensitive area, and focus on a circular pattern. After a while, pressure and speed can be increased. If you and your partner are up for it, you can also gently slap the general area, and combine the rubbing with stroking of the inner thigh, kissing the neck, biting the ear, fingering, or caressing the breast. Combinations can take the pleasure up a few levels very quickly, so it is helpful to keep in mind.
As fingering was mentioned above, it is a concept that is not too hard to accomplish and is extremely effective. First and foremost, be careful not to ram the end of your partner’s vagina (her cervix) as this is quite uncomfortable. However, this is usually easy to avoid because you’ll be able to tell if your fingers get this far, and most fingers just aren’t that long. In addition, make sure that your fingernails aren’t overly long or sharp, for comfort reasons. So for starters, one of the best ways of fingering a girl is the classic “come hither” finger motion. Take your index and middle finger and stroke the upper wall of the vagina. The ridged, textured area is commonly known as the “G-spot” and is right where you want to be, although the spot of highest sensitivity varies slightly woman to woman. Proper stimulation of this location is sure to steer her towards a shuddering, satisfying orgasm. While two fingers is the most common way to go, one or even three fingers also works, depending on you and your partner’s preferences.
Along with the typical finger-curling approach is the in-and-out movement of straightened fingers, or “finger-banging”, for lack of a better term. Just like with a penis or strap-on, start slow and shallow, then gradually increase depth and speed. Slightly angling upwards can help to rub against that sensitive upper wall, and combining fingering with stimulation of the clitoris or kissing of other parts of the body can be amazing for the girl. If you’re both up for oral sex, using your tongue to play with the clitoris while simultaneously fingering her can be one of the most satisfying ways to achieve that full-body orgasm.
Good luck, and be creative!